“I’m shocked…SHOCKED to see that there’s gambling going on in this establishment… Round up the usual suspects.”
Uttered over half a century ago, Louie’s sarcastic order from Casablanca qualifies the notion of another cliché; the more things change, the more they stay the same.
From the same juggernaut of journalism that’s brought us such earth-shattering headlines as “Kennedy Plane Ruled Out Of Control” and “Collapsed Bridge Structurally Deficient” (ya know, as opposed to bridges the collapse for no reason and pilots that purposefully fly into the sea at a 90 degree angle) we get two zingers in one day.
The first is a study that confirms air pollution puts up at risk. Raise your hand if you didn’t know this. Is there a type of pollution out there that doesn’t, um, pollute? If so, why would we call it pollution?
The second is more interesting. You can decide whether it’s informative or insidious. This one informs us that eating more fruits, veggies, whole foods and less meat, ice cream, desserts and other fatty foods will help us stave off cancer. Excuse me, but is there anyone out there who doesn’t agree that the former diet will be better than the latter for everything? The study covered cancer patients in remission and who was more likely to relapse. In my experience, I’ve never seen one instance where a subject on a high meat and dessert diet improved at all, much less over someone on a low-fat whole foods diet. But the study was very clear to point out the effect of the diet on cancer patients only when, in fact, it improves lifestyles across the board.
I can see Louie right now, manning the marketing machine up at Big Meat, “I’m shocked…SHOCKED to hear that too much meat might be bad for you. Round up the usual suspects.”